Lessons In Negotiating From A Child: Selecting The Right Approach For Your Purchasing Negotiations.

Have you ever tried to negotiate with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has now discovered that he has a will - a seriously strong will at that. Typical of children at this stage, he is far more interested in getting what he wants than with executing his mother or father's instructions.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our interaction with others. We are only interested in meeting our own needs and wants rather than accommodating the needs and desires of those around us.

It is only as we age that we believe the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into our environment in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to think about the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 foundational negotiation approaches and how you can use them to underpin the achievement of your sales negotiation targets.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is predominantly assertive and focused on your own needs, desires and objectives.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a style of negotiation that is primarily concerned only with the needs, desires and targets of your counterpart whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training programmes often advocate this negotiation approach as the most appropriate strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the most famous of all negotiation strategies. This is a way of negotiation where you meet your counterpart in the middle. You get some of your needs, wants and targets met and you reciprocate for your counterparts.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation where you attempt to satisfy all of the needs, desires and targets of your counterparts and they reciprocate.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a style of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best method to reach your objectives.

The key factors which will determine which of the above strategies should be in your negotiations is to respond to the following 3 questions:

a.What is the Importance of an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is critical, then you will not be able to be only assertive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterparts. If you do not address the desires of your counterparts, then it is not likely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many alternatives are available to you?

If you have a host of alternatives available, you can afford to be more competitive. Conversely, if you have no alternatives, then you will be required to be more accommodating.

c.How much time is at your disposal?

If you have time on your side, then you can afford to be more competitive. The less time available to you, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these 3 questions before you start negotiating so that you can pick the approach best suited to the situation at hand rather than just following a negotiation strategy solely based on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to amend your approach as new information becomes available during your negotiations.

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